Now that you have completed your first tour. What is the thing you like least about the Foreign Service?

This is a tough question because it will be largely unique to the individual. While some folks might find the physical location of where they are to be difficult, others might dislike distance from family, or the loneliness of being single in a post full of families.

Is it bad if a few different things popped into my head the second I read this submitted question? A while back, I answered a similar question about the negative aspects of the job/lifestyle, which can be found here, but narrowing it down to one thing I really dislike requires some thinking.

For me, I would have to say it is probably spousal employment, or more specifically, the uncertainty around spousal employment. If I could wager a guess as to why most people leave the Foreign Service other than retiring, it’s probably due to lack of job opportunity for their spouse. As a whole, diplomats are pretty smart folks, so it stands to reason that they marry smart people as well. Unfortunately, this job and lifestyle usually forces your partner to maintain maximum flexibility when it comes to their employment. You might be really lucky and have a job that allows max telework, but then find yourself in a country with poor internet, or worse, they aren’t allowed to telework from that country. If you choose to pursue work at the embassy, you are at the mercy of what is available. I have read stories about dentists that worked in the mail room. My wife is a nurse practitioner that ran the embassy housing pool. Architects making $25k a year as a security escort. The list goes on, and more often than not, what is available at post is often far below the qualifications of the spouses applying for the job. Worse, you may be willing to do anything, but there are no jobs opening up for another year, 4 other people want that same job, so you are stuck twiddling your thumbs waiting and hoping.

I have probably beat this point to death, but please, before you join the Foreign Service, or even apply, make sure you have total support and buy-in from your spouse. These life changes might seem big for you, but they are on a whole different level for them. Since I have joined, in the classes around me a handful of people have quit due to difficult family dynamics, including lack of work. It might seem glamorous on the outside looking in, but the reality is you will be at post 90% of your tour, and a lot of time in a country where there is little to do on the economy or the language barrier is difficult to overcome, and it’s easy to feel trapped.

I want to end by saying that although this is a tough reality of this career and lifestyle, I still really love it, and more importantly, my spouse and kids do too. I am really lucky to have a partner that is so versatile in what she does or is willing to do. Successful Foreign Service families that I have met over and over are both versatile and culturally adaptable. This lifestyle definitely isn’t for everyone, but if you can make it work for you and your loved ones, you will find yourself quickly rewarded with a lifetime of opportunities and memories that you would never have had back in the U.S., especially coming from the medical field. Just remember to take your rose colored glasses off from time to time and remember like any job out there, it isn’t perfect. -Nick