This will be the last AMA post for a bit unless I get some more that trickle in.

I am thinking of applying for the Foreign Service, but I’m worried about what that might mean for my husband and his job. Would he be able to work abroad or is he relegated to stay at home dad?

If there are two words you will hear more than anything else in the Foreign Service, they are “it depends”. There are way too many variables for me to give a clear answer, because this job is really lots of different jobs, in different locations, rolled into one career. The spousal employment circumstances in Colombia will likely be very different than they are in even a neighboring country like Peru, and this doesn’t even factor in things like government hiring freezes.

Ultimately, this question is arguably also the most important one you and your loved one should talk about before applying or joining the Foreign Service, I know it was/is for me.

The first thing you and your spouse need to realize is that there will likely be times, even in the best circumstances that your spouse will be unemployed. Get that in your head right away. If you can’t survive without that dual income, right out of the gate this job will likely not be for you. Even for folks that are able to tele-commute from their host country, this will often need Ambassador approval, and you might find yourself in a country where despite your best efforts, the poor infrastructure and internet connection makes this all but impossible.

I can’t stress how important it is for you to go in assuming that your spouse will struggle to find work, because it makes it a lot easier to plan. Now having said that, many spouses can, and do maintain fulfilling jobs and careers while living with their loved one overseas. This can come in the form of tele-commuting as mentioned above or working at a local international school, but the US Government also has a program and jobs available for spouses to work in the embassy/consulate doing various tasks. Often these jobs might not be anywhere related to their field of expertise, will require a security clearance that can take months, and the pay will likely be less than their private sector jobs, but if work is what they desire, no matter what it is, many posts have multiple vacancies for spouses (but even this isn’t guaranteed). Additionally, the US government maintains bilateral work agreements with dozens of host countries, so it is entirely possible for your spouse to find work on a local economy, but the number of variables here like language, pay, etc are too great to reliably depend on this.

I will use myself and my wife Angeli as an example of the decision process. She is a Nurse Practitioner, just like me, and has a very successful career working for a Nephrology group here in West Texas. If I end up in the Foreign Service, she can all but kiss her career as an NP goodbye. For one, her license and specialty isn’t what the government hires. Two, spouses aren’t usually allowed to work together, especially where one might supervise the other. Three, most other countries don’t really recognize the practice authority and autonomy of Nurse Practitioners, so the private sector is out. Outside of working along US Border posts, it will be a stretch for her to continue as an NP.

Long before I pressed “send” on my application, we discussed the ramifications it would mean for her/us. Would she be comfortable not working for a long time in general? Would she be okay possibly never working as an NP again? Would she be okay if she did want to work, filling in as a registered nurse, or doing something completely unrelated to healthcare? (She does have a Masters in Education/Management). Ultimately, I think the opportunity to live abroad, raise our daughters in varying and diverse locations, and have experiences and travel opportunities most individuals will live their whole life without experiencing won out. From a financial standpoint, losing her nice income would suck, be we also aren’t dependent on it, with our only real debt being our mortgage and our car loans (which we would likely end up shifting to just one much cheaper car in the FS). Overall the overhead would be much less, and thankfully, the financials of the job aren’t at the forefront of the decision.

Ultimately, we made the decision to proceed assuming she would not be working much if at all throughout the process, which I advise everyone else to do. It helps with expectations/planning, particularly on the financial side, and it means that if she does end up working, that will be seen as a great little bonus we are thankful for.

Thanks again for reading the last few weeks of AMA questions. Please keep the questions coming.